Protect Me
by sakura seraphim
Summary: Mori always tried to protect her, but he couldn't be with her all the time. When Haruhi gets hurt, even if she forgives him, how can he ever forgive himself? MorixHaruhi Disclaimer I don't own Ouran R&R please, reviews much appreciated :
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One

"But I still don't understand why I have to wear a dress!!!" Haruhi wailed, tugging exasperatedly at the skirts of the expensive dress and looking down with an expression of disgust.  
"Haruhi! Don't pout so darling, daddy thinks you look adorable!" exclaimed the host club's 'king' clutching the fuming Haruhi to his chest and smoothing her hair in a display of delighted fatherly affection.  
"Get off me…." Haruhi mumbled from the depths of Tamaki's shirt before shoving him away and turning on Kyoya angrily.  
"Kyoya-senpai! I don't understand! Why can't I just wear a suit like I normally do! I mean, come on"  
Haruhi held out her skirts and turned around, her hair and skirts twirling out around her and falling gently back into place in a way that caused Tamaki to gape at her open mouthed from where he had been knocked to the floor. "…...so…...cute."  
"And look at these shoes!" she said, lifting her skirt up above one knee and extending a foot clad in a high heeled shoe that probably cost more than what she spent on food in a month. She was vaguely aware of Tamaki slumping onto the marble floor with a nosebleed somewhere behind her.  
"I can't walk in these! I'm going to break my ankle.  
She glared angrily at Kyoya for a moment before turning around and snapping, "Oh for God's sake senpai, your nose is bleeding all over the floor."

The tall dark-haired boy's eyes flickered slightly as he looked her up and down over the top of his notebook but almost immediately he was as cool and composed as ever, pushing his glasses up his nose with one finger and smiling slightly.  
"Be reasonable Haruhi. A number of our clients have expressed a fond wish to see, ah hah, 'Haruhi-kun' in girls clothing. It seems a pity to waste this opportunity to satisfy our customers with such a simple request. And of course"  
Kyoya's eyes glinted maliciously behind his glasses, "…if the word of you appearing at this dance in female clothes spreads, our number of clientele will undoubtedly increase." Haruhi sighed and hung her head, of course, it was always business and profit with Kyoya-senpai…  
"Of course, if you'd expressed your aversion to female attire earlier, I would have been happy to arrange some suitable male clothes for you"  
Haruhi jerked her head up and gaped at Kyoya, "Really"  
He shot her a refreshing smile. "Of course! But bear in mind, the dress you now wear has been generously provided by the twin's mother's design company whereas an appropriate suit would have to be fitted and bought, of course adding more to your debt, but if that's what you want…." he said, casually flipping open his mobile phone.  
"I'll take my chances with the dress thanks." Haruhi said bitterly. _"Damn evil rich bastards"_  
"Haruhiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii"  
_"Oh God, because this couldn't get any worse…"_ Haruhi thought and spun around just in time to see the twins leap at her armed with make-up, hair products and perfume before they slammed her into a chair and she was enveloped in a cloud of choking hairspray.

Mori watched with quiet amusement from a table in the corner as Haruhi fought desperately with Kaoru, who was holding her arms while Hikaru attacked her with mascara.

_(Come on, Haruhi! It's only mascara, it won't hurt)  
(Hikaru you stay away from me!……WAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!)_

Hunny also watched from his position sitting on the table top and swinging his legs.  
"Haru-chan sure looks cute tonight, huh Takashi"  
Mori started slightly and glanced at his cousin, who was looking at him with apparently innocent eyes which seemed to be affectionately mocking him at the same time.

_(What the hell is that? Kaoru!? OWWW MY HAIR!!!)_

Mori looked back towards Haruhi, who now made up to the twins' satisfaction was being propelled towards the door by her loving 'father.  
"Yeah".

The main hall of the school had been especially decorated for the occasion. Roses spilled from every balcony and from vases on every table, filling the room with the soft smell of rose petals. An orchestra played liltingly sweet music in the background as Haruhi crossed the dance floor, concentrating solely on not tripping on the hem of her dress or twisting an ankle in her shoes.  
She stopped suddenly, placing a hand to her forehead and frowning slightly. This migraine had been bothering her all day; she'd go outside into the gardens for a while to get away from the crowds.  
"Haruhi-kun! You look so cute"  
Haruhi sighed and turned to face her own private entourage of adoring fan girls.  
She widened her eyes, which glittered in the light of the chandeliers and placing one finger to her bottom lip, feigned a look of anxiousness.  
"Do I really? I thought I looked kind of stupid"  
She closed her eyes and flashed them a smile. "But if you girls really like it, then it's worth it"  
She managed to escape amid cries of "KYAAA!!!" and floating hearts and hurried over towards the doors. As the heel of her shoe caught in the hem of her dress, she just had time to think _"bloody Kyoya, I knew this would happen…"_ before she hurtled to the ground.  
She stiffened her shoulders and screwed her eyes shut, bracing her body for the impact with the dance floor, but it never came. Strong hands gripped her shoulders firmly but carefully and gently set her back on her feet.  
She turned around, ignoring the delighted cries of the fan girls, and looked directly into Mori's calm grey eyes. "M-Mori-senpai"  
"Are you hurt?" he asked, tilting his head slightly to the side.  
"No, no I…" It occurred to Haruhi that Mori was still holding onto her shoulders. It seemed to occur to Mori at the same time because he hastily let her go and glanced to the side looking slightly embarrassed.  
"I was just going outside for a while, I don't feel to great." she said, glancing around quickly. She wanted to avoid Tamaki, Hikaru and Kaoru's loving concern if she possibly could.  
Mori's eyes swung back to hers, immediately filled with quiet concern.  
"I will go with you, to make sure you are alright"  
She hastily held up her hands, "No really! It's alright! I'm sure you have clients to deal with." She glanced over her shoulder to see that Tamaki was still posing for some adoring princess and the twins were staging a scene of brotherly love on the stairs.  
He looked at her thoughtfully for a while before nodding his consent and turning back to Hunny and a crowd of young ladies.  
Haruhi watched him go for a moment and then quickly darted outside the large French doors and closed them behind her before she could be noticed. She leaned against the cool wood and sighed with relief.  
She wandered over to the railing overlooking a rose garden and leaned on it with her eyes closed, enjoying the cool breeze on her forehead. From behind her closed eyelids, a pair of calm grey eyes looked back at her.


	2. Chapter 2

Faint sounds of music and voices floated on the evening air; murmured conversations, the clink of glasses and the occasional burst of high spirited laughter. Haruhi smiled to herself and tilted her head back slightly; letting the cool breeze catch the bangs of her short hair and soothe her warm brow. At least the guests seemed to be having fun. She lifted the skirts of her dress and stumbled ungracefully down the small flight of stairs leading to the rose garden. After a quick look around to make sure no one had witnessed her clumsy descent, she bent down and pulled the hated high heels from her feet; no matter what Kyouya said she wasn't going to break her ankle in these stupid things. Why, if Mori hadn't caught her….

…..Mori…..

She shook her head with a slightly bemused smile.

High heels hooked on the fingers of one hand she walked into the rose-studded high hedges of the garden, bare feet whispering gently on the cool grass.

Eventually she escaped the muted sounds of the party and sat gratefully on a small white stone bench. For a moment she just sat; swinging her legs so her feet skimmed across the delightfully cool grass and running her hands over the weathered stone of the bench. Then once again she tilted her face to the sky, pale moonlight illuminating her face, to look at the stars.

Still. Silent. Mysterious. Watchful.

Now that she thought about it, they reminded her of a certain someone.

Cheeks blooming with a faint blush she lowered her face to her lap and replayed what had happened earlier in her mind.

His firm grip on the shoulders, the faint smell of his aftershave, the look of concern in his eyes.

Those calm grey eyes.

Just thinking about them made her smile to herself. She'd sometimes look around at the club and catch him looking at her. He'd always hurriedly drop his eyes, almost respectfully, as if he didn't deserve to be looking at her.

But whenever he did look at her….

She felt safe. As though nothing could possibly hurt her, because Mori would always be watching, to keep her safe, to protect her….

Just like tonight.

But, she thought, sighing softly, what would someone like Mori ever want with someone like her? She wasn't pretty or elegant like the customers at the club. She couldn't even walk in a pair of heels without tripping over her own feet.

Besides, she thought, staring at her bare feet, Mori was busy with Honey. He had more important things to worry about without having to run around after some clumsy girl who couldn't keep her balance.

Lost in her own thoughts, Haruhi didn't realise that she wasn't alone in the garden.

She didn't smell the odour of stale beer hiding under the scent of the rose petals.

She didn't hear the uneven footsteps on the grass.

She didn't see the dark silhouettes of the three boys as they staggered drunkenly through the hulking shapes of the hedges towards her benches.

Kazama Iku staggered unsteadily along the path, clutching blindly at unseen branches to keep his balance. He and his two friends, currently tottering along behind him, had been drinking beer in a nearby park; their normal routine for a Saturday night. Araki's older brother had bought them some beer but the beer had been drunk quickly and they were soon bored. Takumi had mentioned that he'd heard there was a party going on uptown, one of those posh schools.

"Invitation only though, posh bastards," he had slurred, leaning on the park railing for support, "no chance for us." He took another swig of his beer and spat into the grass.

"Don't know 'bout that" Iku said thoughtfully.

Takumi's face crumpled in idiotic confusion. "How'dya mean?"

"Well," Iku said, swaying slightly, "I'm thinking, right, what if, right, we just go anyways. I mean that place is massive, s'got to be somewhere we can climb the fence or something right?"

Takumi's face cleared in an expression of grinning admiration. "Boss, you're a genius!"

"I know," he said, smiling light-headedly. _Rich bastards, thinking they're better than them! They'd show them. Posh parties are bound to have posh booze, like that fizzy stuff, not beer but it'd do. There'd be girls too._

Iku grinned in the darkness. "Where's Araki?"

"Throwing up behind a tree I think boss."

"Go get him."

"But Iku…"

"Now!"

They made their drunken way to the railing surrounding the school property and with much swearing and falling had eventually managed to tumble over it, landing in a handy thicket of rose buses on the other side. Cursing and bleeding in a dozen places, Iku staggered to his feet and started towards the distant sounds of music.

And now look here, they didn't even need to go all the way to the fancy ballroom, here was a pretty girl here all by herself and she hadn't even noticed them yet.

Iku grinned to himself, the moonlight throwing shadows on his face which gave him a distinct jack-o-lantern style look. He flicked his dirty hair out of his eyes to get a closer look at the girl sitting on the bench,

She taken her shoes off and was idly swinging her bare feet through the grass, the face tilted toward the sky. The stars reflected in her eyes, turning them into sparkling pools.

Iku made 'come-on' motions with his hand over his shoulder to his two friends. Takumi grinned idiotically back at him and nodded. Araki blinked stupidly and looked vaguely around as if he wasn't sure where he was.

Iku turned back to the girl. Moving quietly, if a little unsteadily, he circled around until her was behind her. Lost in her own thoughts she didn't even notice him until he was right behind her.

He clamped one large hand down on her slim shoulder.

"Now what's a pretty girl like you doing sitting here by herself?"


	3. Chapter 3

Mori's head jerked and he looked quickly over his shoulder through the French doors. Towards the rose garden.

Mori frowned uneasily and shook his head like a man trying to rid himself of a bad dream. Haruhi hadn't come back yet. Maybe he should go check on her…

"Mori-kun?"

Startled back to reality, Mori looked down into the concerned face of the young blonde he was dancing with.

"Are, you alright?"

He nodded seriously and favoured her with a slight smile. "Yes"

She blushed prettily and averted her eyes. _Brown eyes… Brown like Haruhi's, although not as pretty as Haruhi's…_

_Stop it!_ he scolded himself.

Still, he thought with a smile, he would sometimes look at her when he could, during club hours. It was nice to just watch her; she seemed so at ease talking with the customers. The others all put on acts and displays to try and charm the ladies but Haruhi... Haruhi was always just herself, he liked that.

Sometimes she would look up and catch him looking at her. He would always look away, of course, what on earth would she think if she knew…

He could imagine…

She frowned again trying to chase echoes of Haruhi's

("_You!? You're kidding me!")_

voice from his head, her

_("As is I'd ever like you! Ahahahahaa!")_

laughter….

He grimaced just thinking about it. He wouldn't be able to stand it if she ever knew...

If she ever found out…

If she laughed…

But sometimes, when she caught him looking at her, she would smile at him. That smile would light up her face and make her eyes shine, just for him, and he would walk around all day basking in the warmth of that one smile.

But still… She had been gone quite a long time… Maybe he should check on her…

No. Haruhi was independent and self-reliant. The last thing she would was an idiot like him trailing around after her and hanging over her all the time.

Besides, suppose he went out and found her, what would he say? He had never been that good at expressing himself, she would just think he was an idiot.

She would just laugh at him…

He cast his eyes dejectedly to the floor, in his mind's eye seeing Haruhi looking irritatedly at him over her shoulder.

_(For God's sake leave me alone already!)_

Startled back to reality once again by the last lingering notes of the song, he bowed to his dance partner and took the hand of the next from the waiting line.

_Haruhi…_

"Now what's a pretty girl like you doing sitting here by herself?"

Haruhi's shoulders jerked as she spun around, eyes wide. When she'd heard footsteps behind her she'd thought

_(hoped)_

it might be Mori-senpai come to check on her. But this definitely wasn't Mori.

She looked, alarmed, at the greasy hand on her shoulder; the dirty fingernails digging into her skin. She swung her gaze up to meet a pair of mud brown eyes which were leering at her through a curtain of unwashed hair.

"What's your name then darlin'?"

She screwed up her face with disgust as a wave of stale, beer tainted breath hit her and turned, meaning to run. But there were two more of them, blocking her only route of escape, both sneering at her.

Panic-stricken, she started backing away. It wasn't until her ankle twisted painfully beneath her that she realised she stepped backwards straight onto one of her neglected high heels. She cried out, more from surprise than from the flower of pain blooming in her ankle and fell backwards.

She just had time to think hysterically, _next time I see Kyouya I'm going to brain him with one of these shoes…_, before she was seized by the first boy, who pinned her arms painfully to her sides.

"Come on, tell us your name. I'm Iku. You must be lonely here all by yourself, good thing we're here eh boys?"

The other two sniggered obediently. Iku, if that was he was called, had his mouth against her ear. She could feel the stubble on his face grate against her cheek and hear his breath hitching in his chest as he laughed.

_They're drunk_ she thought, her eyes widening in fear.

"Let me go!" she cried, struggling fitfully in Iku's grasp. Drunk as he may be, he was still stronger than her and he laughed harder at her useless attempts to get free. She felt tears stings the corners of her eyes and hated herself for it. She didn't want to give them the satisfaction.

"This ones a fighters boys!" Iku cried gleefully, spinning Haruhi around so they were face to face. More dutiful sniggering.

"Please." Haruhi whispered, "Please don't…"

The boy Iku flicked his dirty hair out of his eyes and leered down at her.

"It's only a bit of fun darlin'. Loosen up."

One of his hands up her arm and grasped at the top of her dress. Haruhi shuddered at his touch; it felt as if her flesh was trying to crawl off her arm.

"Just a little fun…" he breathed in her ear.

"GET OFF!" she shouted, finally managing to twist out of his grasp. The top of her dress ripped along the seam and she stumbled backwards, one hand clutching the top of dress to hold it in place. Reeling blindly backwards she tripped over the stone bench she had been sitting and went sprawling on the grass with a small scream.

She crawled desperately over the grass, trying to get away as she felt Iku, grab a handful of her skirt and try to pull her back. The sound of the expensive material ripping was loud in the quiet of the garden. Before she knew it Iku, still laughing had staggered over to her and had pinned her to the ground. Her head spinning with their laughter, her fear, and her blind panic she tossed her head back and forward trying to escape his lips. Tears of shame and anger spilled down her cheeks, leaving shining moonlit tracks on her cheeks.

Finally she managed to twist one hand free from his grip and without even realising what she was doing she drew her fist back and slammed it into Iku's face with all the force she could muster.

Iku reeled backwards, eyes widening in pain and shock. He raised a hand to his face and looked at the blood on his fingertips with almost comical disbelief.

He looked back down at Haruhi, frozen with fear in the grass.

His expression had changed. The leering, drunken grin was gone, replaced by a look of thunderous anger.

Iku glared down at the frightened girl.

_(Stupid bitch. Thinks she's too good for me. I'll teach her a lesson…)_

"You little whoare…" he growled menacingly. "You filthy whoare!!!" He pulled back his fist and roaring with rage brought his hand down on her face.

Haruhi cried out in pain and tried to squirm away. Before she'd been too scared to even scream but now she'd found her voice. She screamed at the star-filled sky, hoping, praying that someone

_(Mori)_

would hear her and come help her.

"Oh no you don't…" came the voice from behind her.

She looked over her shoulder and her eyes widening in terror when she saw what Iku held in his hand.

A knife, silver bright in the moonlight glinted in his hand. His two friends had panicked and ran away at some point but this barely registered in Haruhi's consciousness at all; her eyes were trained on the knife.

_He's insane! _she thought

Iku looked insane; eyes fever bright in his blood-stained face, grinning madly at her.

She screwed her eyes tight shut as he leapt at her, laughing again and screamed as she felt a shard of fire pierce her side and a bright lance of pain shoot through her body.

Her last thought before she lost consciousness was those eyes.

Those calm grey eyes.

_Mori…_

Mori was standing beside the buffet table, smiling with quiet amusement as his cousin pretended to jump for the sweet snacks that the giggling girls were feeding him.

_(Would you like some more of this cake Honey-chan?)_

_(Only if you feed it to me! Look!)_

Honey opened his mouth wide as the girls screamed with delight and delicately placed pieces of cake in his mouth. Honey munched happily.

One of the girls looked at Mori shyly.

"Would….would Mori-kun like some cake too?"

Mori was about to politely refuse when he heard Tamaki shout.

"HARUHI!!!"

Mori snapped his head round just in time to see the blonde hurtle out the French doors and into the rose garden, leaving a group of scared looking girls, some of them in tears.

"What happened?! Is Haru-chan alright?" Honey asked, his eyes widening with adorable anxiety.

But Mori had already raced across the dance floor and out into the garden

Mori ran over the moonlit grass thinking,

_(please let her be ok)_

praying,

_(oh God please please please)_

a million scenarios racing through his head; Haruhi crying, Haruhi hurt, Haruhi

_(oh no please God no)_

dead…

(_Haruhi…)_

He ran faster.

He rounded the corner at high speed, into the little clearing with the bench and stopped in his tracks.

He felt disconnected, like he wasn't really there but at the same time, everything seemed much realer.

He could feel the blood pounding through his head, the moonlight seemed blinding, he could hear shouting and girls crying and most clearly he could smell

_(blood)_

the roses.

But he couldn't move his eyes from the scene in front of him.

A crowd had gathered in the rose garden; weeping girls burying their faces in their hands, ashen faced boys staring dumbly, school security staff. One of this staff was talking into a walky talky about an ambulance, another two had pinned a dirty looking boy to the ground where he was struggling and swearing loudly.

On the grass, a knife winked malevolently up at him.

And Haruhi…

Haruhi lay in the middle of the crowd, cradled in Tamaki's arms. The blonde boy was talking to her frantically

_(please Haruhi please open your eyes!)_

on the verge of hysteria. Kyouya stood behind him, hand on his shoulder. He was deathly pale and seemingly, for the first time since Mori had met him, without a suitably dry sarcastic comment.

Haruhi's head lolled against Tamaki's chest as he rocked her and Mori could see a yellow bruise already beginning to flower on her cheek. Her eyes fluttered slightly and a slight groan escaped her lips but she didn't open her eyes,

Her dress was ripped in several places and smeared with grass and mud.

And blood.

The fabric near a slash on her side was a dark crimson, even though a quick thinking security guard was pressing his folded jacket against her side.

Blood dripped serenely onto the grass, staining it red.

Mori didn't move. Couldn't move

_(my fault)_

He heard the twins arrive as Hikaru let out a wail of despair at his shoulder

_(it's all my fault)_

and both boys rushed to Haruhi's side.

_(how could I have been so stupid?)_

He was vaguely aware of his cousin tugging frantically at his hand

_(so much blood)_

begging him to please answer him.

_(Haruhi…)_

Mori turned his face away.


	4. Chapter 4

Ooooooook, please forgive the gap between the first chapter and the rest but my computer's been playing up :P

If you've read this far then hopefully you like it but I'd be grateful for any comments or reviews telling me what you think

Disclaimer: much as I'd love to have the host club locked up in my cupboard, they are not mine; they are Bisco Hatori's. however, if said Bisco Hatori has an extra Mori-senpai hanging about that he's not using id be glad to take him off his hands……

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Kyouya stepped quietly over the door's threshold, his shoes making almost no noise on the thick carpet. The soft click as the door closed behind him seemed deafeningly loud in the quiet room, causing the room's other occupants to turn and look at him. All except one.

Haruhi lay unconscious on the bed; the blankets pulled right up to her chest hiding the bandages that covered the wound in her side. Her head was tilted to one side, hair spread out over her pillow, so that she seemed to be facing Kyouya as the others were, but her eyes were closed. The purple flower of a bruise covered one cheek, a bright stain of colour on her otherwise pale face. Her arms lay by her sides on top of her blankets; one pierced with an IV drip to try and replace the fluids she had lost through blood loss, the other with a cuff that was recording her heart rate on a nearby monitor.

Tamaki sat at her bedside, holding one of her motionless hands gently in his own and running the ball of his thumb softly across her open palm.

After looking briefly at Kyouya, Tamaki turned back to Haruhi and resumed his repeated stroking of her palm.

"Well?" he asked hoarsely, without looking up.

The silence in the room was smothering. Looking intently at the carpet next to his feet, Kyouya cleared his throat. All his life he'd never had a problem articulating his thoughts appropriately but this room seemed like a black void, ready to suck in his every word. His voice came out in a monotone.

"The doctor said she's suffered a great amount of blood loss due to her wound. The knife missed her vital organs but she'll remain in a critical condition for at least the next few hours. Apart from that, she's sustained a badly sprained ankle and extensive bruising to her body and face. There's no telling when she'll regain consciousness."

"But she'll be ok?" Hikaru intoned from across the room. The twins were sitting near the window; Hikaru hunched over so his hair hid his face, Kaoru looking vacantly out of the window. Their hands were clasped between them.

Kyouya nodded solemnly. "It seems so, she was lucky."

From Haruhi's bedside Tamaki lowered his head and let out a soft choked cry of relief.

Hikaru's shoulders started to shake gently. Kaoru turned to his brother and squeezed his hand tighter.

Honey buried his face in his Usa-chan and sniffed quietly.

Haruhi's father was currently away on 'business', the nature of which Kyouya had decided not to enquire into. Since they wouldn't dream of sending their Haruhi away to what the twins insisted on referring to as 'some commoner hospital' where she'd be alone, they had instead taken her back to Kyouya's house, where one of his family's most skilled medical teams was taking care of her.

Kyouya collapsed into the chair next to Honey's and rubbed his temples. He looked up at Haruhi and found he couldn't stand to look at her lying there. She looked so

_(dead)_

still. So pale. Seeing her lying there in the garden, he'd thought.….. For a moment he'd really thought……

He shuddered and looked away.

"What happened to that bastard?" Hikaru growled.

Kyouya glanced across the room at the twins. Hikaru was looking intently at him through his hair, his face expressionless.

Kyouya sighed and leaned back in his chair, tracing the pattern of the shadows across the ceiling. He could feel Hikaru's eyes burning into him.

"The police have him." he said softly without looking down "That'll have to be good enough."

"You should've let us deal with him…" Kaoru muttered bitterly, casting his eyes into the far corner of the room.

Kyouya looked down at the two boys, slumped sullenly in their chairs and raised one eyebrow inquisitively. "And what would that have accomplished?" he asked dryly.

Snarling, Hikaru exploded out of his seat, which slammed backwards into the wall with a dull thud, and started across the room to Kyouya. Face flushed with rage he grabbed the dark-haired boy's shirt and pulled him down so they were face to face.

"How can you be so calm!?" he shouted. "Did you see her? Did you!? That bastard almost killed her! Haruhi could've…"

"Hikaru"

Hikaru stopped mid-rant and both he and Kyouya turned slowly to Tamaki, who hadn't moved from Haruhi's side. His head was lowered, blonde bangs obscuring his face and his thumb moved restlessly across Haruhi's hand.

He raised his head slightly and looked at Hikaru. "Stop it."

Hikaru stood for a moment, breathing heavily, looking backwards and forwards between the host club's king and the dark-haired boy whose shirt he was holding. Kyouya looked calmly back at him.

He jumped suddenly at a light touch on his arm and looked around, startled, into eyes that were identical to his.

"Let go nii-chan." Kaoru said softly, almost sadly.

At first Hikaru resisted his brother's touch, then relented and allowed himself to be pulled into his brother's embrace where he buried his face in his shoulder.

Kyouya calmly straightened his shirt collar and turned to the small blonde in the chair next to him who had been sitting silently.

"Honey-senpai?"

The small boy looked up at him, his face flushed and stained with tear tracks. His eyes were puffy from crying and shone with tears that spilled out onto his cheeks.

"Hai, Kyou-chan?"

"Have you seen Mori-senpai? I haven't seen him since we arrived."

Honey lowered his head and fidgeted restlessly with the arms of the worn Usa-chan doll in his lap.

"No." he said, his voice hoarse from crying. "I haven't seen Takashi."

He raised his head and looked towards the window, the moonlight casting dozens of tiny reflections in his tear-filled eyes. "But I know where to find him. I'm going to go let him know that Haru-chan's gonna be ok."

He slid off the seat until his feet touched the floor and dragging Usa-chan behind him, wordlessly pushed open the door and disappeared into the dark hallway.

Mori was currently sitting on a couch in Kyouya's family sitting room, his face buried in his hands. The room was dark apart from the moonlight that streamed through the window, casting the room in monochrome colours. The weather outside was beginning to worsen and every so often a cloud would pass over the moon, plunging the room into gloomy darkness.

Mori's hands slid up his face and his broad shoulders hunched over even more as he cradled his forehead in the heels of his hands and looked unseeing at the floor.

_(my fault…)_

Over and over he heard himself

_("I will go with you, to make sure you are alright.")_

offering to go with her, to keep an eye on her. And her voice

_("No really! It's alright! I'm sure you have clients to deal with.")_

telling him to stay, telling him not to bother. That was the last thing she had said to him.

_(why did I listen……)_

In his mind's eye he could see her; skirt twitching prettily as she walked to the door, hand trailing across its polished wood as she slipped outside. Into the garden.

_(why didn't I go check on her…)_

Now she was hurt. Hurt badly. And it was all his fault. He had failed to protect her and because he hadn't been there to protect her she was badly hurt. She might even

_(oh no please please not that, anything but that)_

die.

He let out an involuntary choked cry and twisted his hands into his dark hair. His chest heaved as though his misery were a physical arm, snaking around his neck and choking him.

He had to get out of here.

He straightened up in one movement and walked across the sitting room; his shadow tall and stalking on the far wall. He walked up the hall and pulled open the front door. Stepping out into the front drive he felt the cool night breeze push his hair away from his brow. Hands jammed deep in his pockets and shoulders hunched, he made his way across the driveway, formal shoes crunching on the gravel.

He'd go for a walk, that's what he'd do. He'd go for a walk and try to sort out his head and then…

"Takashi…?"

Mori froze halfway down the wide sweeping driveway, the wind tugging at his hair and to folds of his shirt. Without turning his body around he looked back over his shoulder at the small boy in the doorway.

"Mitsukuni."

Honey stood the doorway, looking even more like a child than usual with his wide, questioning eyes, tear-stained face and Usa-chan doll clutched tightly to his chest. Honey took one step forwards onto the gravel path, his small feet barely making any noise on its surface. He tilted his head slightly to the side and looked up at him with wide, shining eyes.

"Where are you going? Why are you leaving?" he asked quietly, his voice barely more than a whisper. Mori could tell immediately that his cousin had been crying and turned instinctively to comfort him before stopping.

With a barely audible sigh he turned away again.

"Go back inside Mitsukuni." he said quietly, starting back down the path.

He heard Honey's soft cry, followed by the rapid thuds of his feet as he ran forward, throwing up small sprays of gravel behind him. He felt a light tug on his hand as Honey slipped his childlike hand into his large one and pulled him desperately backwards.

"Ne ne, Takashi! Don't leave!"

Mori stopped in his tracks; even in this state he couldn't bring himself to directly disobey something Mitsukuni had asked him to do. He was facing away from Honey, his head lowered so his hair hung down, hiding his eyes.

Honey studied what he could see of Mori's face. As expressionless as it would seem to most people, Honey had been with Mori a long time; long enough to tell what he was thinking without having to hear him say it.

He took one of Mori's hands gently in both of his and walked around so he was in front of him but Mori still wouldn't look at him.

"Haru-chan's gonna be ok, you know." he said softly, eyes never leaving Mori's face. "Kyou-chan said so and he's always right." He offered a weak smile.

Mori's head jerked upwards and he looked at Honey for a moment with wide, disbelieving eyes. He quickly looked away again but Honey knew Mori well and could almost feel the relief coming off him in waves.

Honey tightened his grip on Mori's hand and tugged gently.

"You know, Takashi, it wasn't your fault. There was nothing you could have done."

Mori's eyes swung round to meet his cousins. Honey was looking up at him intently, looking for once more like the young man he was and less like the child he pretended to be. It never failed to surprise Mori how well this small boy could read him.

Honey smiled at him. "I know you're blaming yourself for this Takashi, but you're the only one. Come on, come and see Haru-chan."

Mori opened his mouth to speak, found he couldn't and closed it again, shaking his head. He turned his face away from Honey and managed to choke out a whisper.

"I can't."

He started to pull away from Honey again, meaning to walk away as he had planned to but Honey held on tight.

"Ne, Takashi, look at me."

Reluctantly, Mori met his cousin's eyes. The small boy's face was set with a stubborn look.

"I won't make you go see her but I will make you stay. Kyou-chan has prepared rooms for us all to spend the night here; he says the weather's gonna get worse overnight so you're not going anywhere. If you still really want to leave in the morning you can but not tonight.

His face softened. "Please Takashi?"

Mori sighed, defeated and looked at his shoes.

"Hai."


	5. Chapter 5

As you can clearly see from the magnitude of recent updates, I have absolutely no life but what can you do :P

Once again comments and reviews much appreciated 

Disclaimer: I don't own Ouran Host Club………… unfortunately…………

_Mori walked through the silent garden, his feet making no noise on the grass as he proceeded through the rows of high hedges. He looked upwards and smiled slightly to see the multitude of stars; to him they looked like diamonds scattered on a sheet of black velvet. _

_He kept walking._

_He rounded the corner of one of the hedges and found himself in a small clearing surrounded by the rose bushes; a small white bench sat in the middle._

_There was a girl sitting on the bench._

_Mori turned, beginning a polite apology for disturbing the young lady when she turned around._

_It was Haruhi._

_He gaped, open-mouthed at her as she stood up, hands clasped demurely in front of her as she turned around. She lifted her head to look at him and not for the first time, he was struck by the simple beauty of her face. The gentle curve of her lips in the beginning of a smile. The delicate trace of her cheekbones, skin flushed with a pale blush. The way the shortest bangs of her hair fell into her eyes and curled gently under her chin and cheeks where they framed her face. _

_And her eyes. Beautiful, sparkling pools which lit up as she recognised him; dancing with reflections from the stars so it look like the entire sky was contained in her eyes._

_He felt the colour rise in his cheeks as she smiled at him radiantly._

"_Mori-senpai! Will you come sit with me?" She held one hand out to him._

_Mori smiled and nodded, taking one step into the clearing._

_The minute his foot entered the clearing, everything changed. _

_The stars winked out in the sky, one by one as dark clouds gathered, filling the whole sky within a matter of seconds. Mori looked wildly at the clouds which had appeared out of nowhere. When he turned back to Haruhi she was standing with her shoulders hunched, hands balled into tight fists at her sides, head down so he couldn't see her face. Her shoulders began to shake._

_("Why Mori?")_

_Even as he watched her, her dress ripped savagely in a dozen place, exposing one leg, the curve of one breast, a sliver of her stomach. A bruise _

_("Where were you?")_

_flared on her right arm, expanding outward like a blooming flower. There was a deep rumble as thunder rolled across the cloud laden sky. Mud and grass stains appeared on her dress as if_

_("Why did you let them hurt me?")_

_a child had scrawled across it with crayons. Mud was streaked down the inside of one arm and Mori could see clumps of mud and a few matted strands of grass caught under her fingernails. As he watched a dark red stain bloomed on her side and blood began to drip slowly down the section of leg revealed by her torn dress._

_Mori unfroze and bolted towards Haruhi, reaching desperately for her. No matter how fast he ran he couldn't get any closer to her, she continued to float just outside the reach of his outstretched fingers. _

_("Mori……")_

_Haruhi slowly began to raise her head and when she was facing him, the face thrown into stark relief by the sudden flash of lightning made Mori gasp._

_("……why did you let them do this to me?")_

_Haruhi's face was streaked with mud and blood, striped with clean streaks where her tears had run. The bruise covering one cheek looked bad enough but it was the eyes above it which had really made him gasp. _

_Haruhi's once beautiful eyes were spilling with silent tears. The eyes he was so used to seeing filled with warm laughter were now full of misery and hurt betrayal. She looked at him with a kind of helpless desperate pleading. Begging him to please help her. _

_Another burst of thunder drove across the sky, this one deafeningly loud; loud enough to drive Mori to his knees with a shout that he couldn't hear with his hands clapped over his ears. He looked around wildly for Haruhi, who was now standing with her back to him._

_("You couldn't protect me ...")_

_Haruhi began to walk away from him. He cried out and tried to move towards her but she was gone. All that remained was a small patch of blood-stained grass next to a white bench. More lightning flashed across the sky and_

thunder rolled.

Mori sat bolt upright in the bed of one of Kyouya's family guest rooms, chest heaving as he gasped for air. Hands curled into claws clutched desperately at the neatly made bedclothes that he'd fallen asleep on top of as he looked wildly around the room, trying to figure out where he was.

His breathing began to settle as he looked at the huge windows that stretched from ceiling to floor, water running down them in steady streams. Mitsukuni had been right, the weather had gotten much worse, fast.

Recalling his conversation with Honey caused the memory of everything else that had happened that night to hit him with the equivalent emotional force of a battering ram.

He was in Kyouya's house.

They'd all come here after the party.

And Haruhi was lying unconscious in a hospital bed with a stab wound in her side because Mori hadn't been vigilant enough to protect her from gatecrashers and it was all his fault.

That seemed to about cover it. Mori collapsed backwards on top of the bed with a sigh watching the lightning chase shadows across the room's massive ceiling. He knew he'd never get back to sleep; fragments of his dream continued to chase around his head. Haruhi covered in blood, Haruhi begging him to help her, Haruhi turning away from him.

He sat upright quickly, shaking his head as if doing so could dislodge the haunting remnants of his dream from his mind.

_("Mori, why did you let them do this to me?")_

He frowned and got up from his bed. He'd fallen asleep on top of the covers still dressed in his formal outfit. His suit jacket was slung over the back of a chair, as was his tie but he was still wearing his shirt and formal trousers, the shirt unbuttoned down to his chest.

He wandered over to the window, closing his eyes as he laid his head on the cool pane of glass. The shadows of the raindrops ran down his face, looking like tears in the dim light. An especially bright bolt of lightning caused him to open his eyes.

Haruhi was frightened of thunder of lightning.

_Well, _he thought. _I suppose it's a blessing that she's unconscious then._

Mori was not the only insomniac that night.

Kyouya lay back on his bed, hands tucked beneath his head, and watched the rain water that poured down his window in steady sheets. He was worried about Haruhi. The doctor had proclaimed her in a stable condition a couple of hours after Honey left the room to talk to Mori and had chased them all from her room, stating firmly that she was to be left alone to rest. After the twins had been manhandled out the door by a couple of nurses, Tamaki following like a beaten puppy, Kyouya talked to the doctor.

"She should be fine until she wakes up." he had said. "But I'll have nurses check on her every so often to monitor her vitals and check up on her."

Kyouya still wasn't satisfied and he knew he'd never be able to sleep until he had seen with his own eyes that she was too sleeping peacefully.

Luckily the Ootori household was fitted with a state of the art security system, including cameras in most of the rooms. Not all were in use, due to reasons of privacy but there was a camera in Haruhi's hospital room.

Kyouya sat upright and swung his legs off the bed, padding silently across the room to his laptop. A sudden flash of lightning made him jump slightly as the computer loaded up. Drumming his fingers impatiently on the table top, Kyouya accessed the house's security system. His father of course had no idea he was capable of doing such things, but there was no harm in that, was there?

Accessing the camera in Haruhi's room, Kyouya peered at the small video screen representing the view from the camera in Haruhi's room.

Kyouya drew breath in with a sharp hiss as he used the camera to scan the whole of Haruhi's room.

It was empty.

The IV drip that had been in her arm lay neglected on the bedspread, which was lying half off the bed, trailing across the floor. Heart pounding, Kyouya accessed the camera's previous footage and wound back. He watched a nurse walk into the room and check Haruhi's vitals, fluffing her pillow and smoothing her hair before leaving, closing the door quietly behind her. About five minutes later, during a particularly bright flash a lightning, Haruhi sat bolt upright in her bed, mouth open in a cry that he couldn't hear. As another bout of thunder rolled across the sky he saw her drew her knees up to her chest with her hands clamped over her ears. She was shaking. When the thunder had passed, Kyouya watched the small pixelated Haruhi pull the drip out her arm and swing her legs off the bed. After gently testing her weight on her injured ankle she stood up. Kyouya winced along with Haruhi as she clutched her hands to her wounded side and watched as she forced herself through a series of uneven, limping steps towards the doors and out of the camera shot.

Kyouya leaned back in his chair; so she'd got scared of the thunder and left her room. The nurses presumably hadn't noticed yet since no alarm had been raised so he should go look for her.

A small, sullen part of his mind pointed out sulkily that she hadn't come to his room for comfort, but he shook this thought off as he headed for the door.

Walking silently down the dark hallway, he considered where to look first.

Tamaki's room he supposed; it was Tamaki who had comforted Haruhi during the thunderstorm when they had all gone to the beach. It was possible she'd gone to his room.

Turning the handle of Tamaki's door silently (it was the same room the blonde always used when he stayed) he pushed the door inwards and peered inside.

The storm apparently hadn't phased Tamaki at all, since he was fast asleep, sprawled across the large bed, having kicked the blankets off during some fitful dream.

He was alone.

Kyouya crossed the room silently and after picking the blankets off the floor, tucked them back round his friends sleeping form. Tamaki stirred slightly, tousled blonde hair shifting, and mumbled something incoherent in French. Kyouya smiled and padded back out the door.

Ok, not Tamaki then. Next stop the twins. Haruhi had become surprisingly close to them due to seeing them for both class and club activities. Besides, Hikaru had comforted Haruhi when they were caught in that storm in Karuizawa.

Kyouya stopped at the next door down the hall and looked cautiously inside. In the dim light he could make out the sleeping forms of the twins. He always gave them a room with two beds but, as usual, they had opted to sleep in one bed together. They slept in the bed furthest from the window, limbs entangled together in their embrace. There was no one else in the room.

Frowning slightly, Kyouya withdrew from the room, letting the door shut quietly behind him. Surely not Honey-senpai's room? That wouldn't make any sense.

All the same, he pushed open the door and looked around.

Honey was curled in a ball in his bed, apparently oblivious to the storm. The thumb of one hand was inserted firmly in his mouth while the other hand clutched Usa-chan to his chest. As Kyouya watched, Honey sighed in his sleep and turned over, golden hair spilled across the pillow.

He was also alone.

Kyouya stepped out into the hall as another bolt of lightning illuminated the length of the hall, throwing everything into stark relief. The light glinted off something on the carpet and frowning, Kyouya bent to pick it up.

It was a needle; the type of needle that Haruhi would have had in her arm from her drip. Kyouya looked up at the door and placed his hand on the doorknob. This would mean that Haruhi had bypassed the rest of their rooms in order to reach….

…Mori's room…


	6. Chapter 6

Right troops, this story is turning out to be a lot longer than I originally planned it but it seems to be quite well received so I shall continue.

Big thankies to all who have reviewed or will review. I give you my love.

Disclaimer – Bisco Hatori is the genius behind OHSHC, not me. All hail Bisco Hatori!

By the way, the words written in italic and brackets are the characters, innermost thoughts

I wasn't sure if people were getting that……

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Mori wasn't sure how longer he had been standing there; eyes closed, forehead resting on the cool glass of the window pane listening to the rain hit the glass like a hail of shining bullets. He didn't even realise that someone had opened his door and tentatively walked through until he heard the dull click as the door swung shut.

His eyes flew open, seemingly staring down through the window at Kyouya's drowned gardens but they were actually focused on the figure he could see reflected in the glass.

It _looked _like…

_(it can't be)_

Haruhi. He could see Haruhi, standing in front of

_(it can't really be her)_

his door, wearing one of Kyouya's sister's old nightgowns, the white

_(you're dreaming again)_

hem falling past her knees. One ankle was bandaged up and Mori could even make out the slight bulge in her side where her side was bandaged.

It looked like she was…

_(no! you're dreaming again! she's not there! she can't be, she's upstairs in a hospital bed because of YOU)_

Mori squeezed his eyes shut and willed desperately for the haunting apparition to go away, to leave him in peace. _It's not real…_he repeated to himself _It's not real, it's not real, it's not…_

"Mo-Mori-senpai…?"

His eyes flew open again. He had heard that. He knew he hadn't imagined that tiny, tremulous voice that came from right behind him.

Slowly, he began to turn around. He couldn't help thinking _What if I turn around and there's nothing there? What if I'm actually going crazy?_

Taking a deep breath, he raised his head and looked at his door. Haruhi looked back at him.

She stood unsteadily on her injured ankle; knees locked together but feet slightly splayed apart. Her slim shoulders were hunched with her hands clutched one in front of the other at her chest, elbows tight against her sides. Her breaths were coming shallow and panicked, causing her shoulders to move steadily up and down. Mori could see that she was shaking.

Unconsciously, his body started forwards of its own accord; meaning to take her in his arms and comfort her but how could he? After what had happened how could he even think of doing such a thing. Through an extreme act of will he forced his arms down to his sides.

"Mori?"

It was no good. He had to look at her face. Otherwise she might just think that he was ignoring her. He couldn't stand to hurt her anymore than already had. But still, how could he possibly look her in the eye? He didn't deserve to talk to her, he didn't deserve to even look at her.

Reluctantly, he raised his eyes to her face, thoughts of his dream creeping back into his mind. Haruhi's blood and mud-stained, tear streaked face.

Looking at Haruhi's face caused such a deep ache in his heart that he didn't think he could stand it.

Her hair was tousled from her restless sleep; stray strands falling into her eyes and surrounding her head like a halo. Her face was flushed; a bruise spread over one cheek and a shallow cut scrawled over her forehead.

He could've handled that. He could've accepted these injuries as being his fault and incorporated them into his feelings of guilt but no pain he could suffer from his guilt came close to having to look at her eyes.

They were wide and frightened; tears welling up at the corners and spilling slowly down her cheeks. Mori could read the fear and pain in her eyes as easily as her could read it in every aspect of her body language; the shaking shoulders, the unsteady legs, the hands clutched desperately just below the neckline of her nightgown.

The worst thing he could read in her eyes was the simple desperation. His heart sank as he realised what she was going to ask him next,

"Mo-Mori-senpai?" She let out a small cry as thunder rolled overhead. Her shoulders hunched over even more and her head ducked down to her chest. The action must have pained her because her hands flew to her side with a short gasp. She stood that way, trembling, until the thunder had passed. Slowly, she raised her had again; fixing him with pleading, tear-filled eyes.

"Mori, please can I stay here with you for a while?" Two more tears escaped her eyes and rolled silently down her face and dropped onto the carpet. She looked at him, begging him with her stare. "……Please?"

Mori had to look away then. He thought he had hurt him more with that softly spoken 'please' than she could have by stabbing him herself. He could have handled it if she'd hated him. If she'd shouted and cursed him and said she hated him and never wanted to see him again he could've at least felt that he was getting what he deserved.

But after all that had happened to her, at his fault, she was actually begging to stay with him… He couldn't stand it…

Haruhi must've taken this silence for an answer because she started backing towards the door, her eyes filled with hurt confusion.

"I-I'm sorry Mori-senpai…I'll go…"

And now she was apologising to him… _Her _apologising to_ him_.

But still, even though everything inside him was screaming at him that he didn't deserve such favour, he didn't deserve to even _look_ at her… he couldn't bring himself to deny anything she asked of him. He would leave in the morning but for now…she needed him and he wouldn't let her down again.

"Haruhi"

Haruhi stopped and looked up at him, a dim hope beginning to dawn in her eyes. He took a deep breath and held his arms out to her. She smiled and began to limp towards him.

She had only made it halfway towards him when a flash of lightning filled the room with white, blue-tinted light. Haruhi's eyes widened in sudden fear and, using her good leg to boost, she jumped the remaining distance, flying straight into Mori's open arms.

Mori looked unbelieving down at her for a minute before slowly and tentatively closing his arms around her. He held her until she stopped shaking.

She buried her face in the broad warmth of his chest, feeling the smooth material of his shirt against her cheek and smelling his faint musky scent. She could feel a faint stirring as his breath tossed a few errant strands of hair away from her brow. His arms encircled her completely; cutting her off from the outside world.

He'd acted strangely when she came in; almost as if he didn't want to look at her. _Still _she thought, the thought taking on an almost hysterical edge even in her mind, _I suppose I must look a right mess; that bastard Iku messed me up pretty bad. Why would he want to look at me?_ When he hadn't answered her heart had sank; she'd just made a complete idiot of herself. She would make her apologies and go back to her room, maybe hiding under the bed until the storm blew over. Then he'd held his arms out to her and her heart had sang. She knew he'd come through for her. For now she was just glad for his comfort; for the strength of his arms and the reassuring solidity of his chest.

Pulling back slightly, she tentatively raised her eyes to him, meaning to smile nervously and apologise for jumping on him like that. The smile was just forming on her lips when she realised he was already looking down into her eyes. He looked surprised (well that was obvious she supposed, its not everyday battered girls throw themselves into your arms) but there was something underlying it. His soft gaze contained simple adoration but it was marred with pain and something that was almost……guilt? She frowned slightly and opened her mouth to ask him what was wrong when the biggest burst of thunder yet shook the house, accompanied almost immediately by lightning. She yelped and buried her face in him chest again, shaking.

This time Mori closed his arms around her quicker, being careful not to apply pressure to her injured side. One of his arms stretched up her back, the hand gently stroking her hair. He murmured soothingly in her ear, desperate to do anything that might help her. He couldn't stand to see her in such distress and for the first time that night he forgot his guilt in his simple desire to comfort and protect her.

When her shaking had passed, he bent down and as carefully as a person handling a china doll, he picked her up; being mindful of her injuries. She clutched her hands to her chest again and looked up at him. The simple dependency he saw in her eyes caused his heart to throb with another dull ache.

He laid her gently on his bed; she pushed herself up on her elbows to look at him.

"You can sleep here." he said quietly, "I will sit here so you're not alone."

He bent, throwing his suit jacket carelessly on the floor and moved to sit in the chair when he felt a gentle tug on his hand.

Startled he looked back round at her. She had stretched across to grab his hand and the pain it had caused her wound was etched into her face.

"Please stay here with me." she pleaded in a whisper "I'm scared."

She tugged his hand again. Mouth dry, and unable to speak Mori managed to nod and, filled with a feeling of numbness, he sat on the bed next to her, swinging his legs up so they were sitting side by side. Slowly, almost nervously and without meeting his eyes she curled up next to him; head leaning on his chest, one hand gently curled next to her face, legs pulled up so they were lying slightly on top of his own.

Mori had temporarily overcome his guilt-ridden inability to look at her and was staring at her in sheer amazement. A few short hours ago he had been convinced that she was going to die.

Again, he closed his arms around her, pulling her closer to his chest. Haruhi wriggled slightly to get comfortable and sighed sleepily, her eyes fluttering closed."

"Arigato……Takashi……"

She slept. Mori looked in stunned disbelief into the darkness. She had called him Takashi.

Not long afterwards, Kyouya was making his frantic night-time tour of the rooms in search of Haruhi. He opened the door to Mori's room silently, peeking as far around the door as he dared.

Mori was sitting on his bed, back against the headboard and legs stretched out. Haruhi was curled contently in his arms fast asleep. Mori hadn't even noticed Kyouya come in, he was absorbed in looking at Haruhi. He was running one thumb gently up and down the bare flesh of her forearm, looking down at her with a heart-wrenching look of pained adoration. Kyouya smiled and backed soundlessly out of the room to go and call off the nurses who were currently frantically searing the Ootori mansion for Haruhi.


	7. Chapter 7

Ok, its been I think two or three days since my last update, a very long time for me so if anyone was waiting for this then gomen nasai! This one's not as long as the others but I hope to have the next (hopefully final!) chapter out by tomorrow afternoon.

This whole thing is quite surreal, I started this fic cos I was bored on a Sunday afternoon…. and then I look and its got over 2500 hits and people shouting at me to update. I laughed til I fell off my chair. It hurt.

Anyways, enjoy! Reviews much appreciated.

Sakura Seraphim

Disclaimer – I didn't create OHSHC, Bisco Hatori did. ALL HAIL BISCO HATORI!!! sacrifices goat

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Mori stared vacantly out of the windows at the bruised and swollen clouds that still hung over the horizon, obscuring the coming dawn from view. The thunder and lightning had passed, and now the only sound was the soft whisper of the rain as it slid down the windows in sheets.

Mori shifted position slightly, being careful not to wake the small brunette cradled in his arms; Haruhi sighed sleepily and snuggled briefly closer to him before falling silent again.

He held her gently in his arms, the fingers of one hand softly brushing up and down the bare skin of her forearm. She had slept soundly enough in his arms through the thunderstorm; her fear marked only by the occasional soft cry of the slight creasing of her forehead in a frown. Each time she would pull close against his body until the thunder passed, and each time his heart would skip a beat and his breath would catch in his throat.

He looked down at her with an utter devotion that was tainted with a look of terrible sadness and loss. His eyes studied every inch of her face; desperately trying to take it all in…… before he had to leave her……

He felt his heart crumple at the very thought of it, but what choice did her have really?

_(she hates you)_

How could he possibly go on as he had before? Quietly adoring her from across

_(she was scared when she came in, probably drugged too)_

the room, devoting himself totally to making her happy, whatever that took,

_(when she wakes up she'll remember what you did and then she'll hate you)_

living every day with her face in his mind and her smile in his heart.

_(she never would've looked at you anyway)_

How could he look her in the eye or even stand to hear her talking to him, when every word she said would remind him of how he had failed her.

_(she would have laughed at you)_

He sighed softly and looked down into her sweetly sleeping face. He didn't see the scratches on her forehead or the bruise on her cheek (although the voice of his guilt kindly pointed them out to him), he saw the girl who, to him, was in every way far more beautiful than any of the shrieking, giggling, flirting customers of the host club. He saw her hair, spread like a halo round her head and falling into her eyes.

He saw how her thick eyelashes gently brushed her sleep-flushed cheeks.

He saw her tiny hand curled delicately next to her slightly parted lips.

He smiled; but there was no joy in it, only a kind of heart-wrenching loss.

_Well, _he thought, _I suppose if I'm leaving in the morning……if this is the last chance I ever get……I might as well._

He took a deep breath and looked out of the windows again, to where the pale light of dawn was just beginning to shine through the clouds; if he was going to say this, there was absolutely no way he could say it to her face, asleep or not. It wasn't his nature to speak his feelings, to Haruhi or to anyone else, but he's regret this if he didn't say it.

"Haruhi…" his voice was soft, barely audible, even in the early morning stillness of the room.

"First of all, I'm sorry…I'm so sorry…I didn't know…I ran…but I…I…I was too late…I know that's no excuse but………" his voice trailed off as he cast his eyes down into one of the shadowy corners of the room.

"I know I let you down. I should have been there to protect you and I…I'll never forgive myself for what happened. I couldn't ever expect you to forgive me either. He added sadly.

He fell silent for a moment, eyes staring moodily into the shadows. After a few minutes he continued.

"You know…" he said softly "I always knew I wasn't like the others. I could never charm you like Tamaki can. I could never be as smart as Kyouya or as appealing as Mitsukuni. I could never make you laugh like the Hikaru and Kaoru do but I always thought I was strong… I always thought 'that's what I'll do for Haruhi; I'll protect her.'" He let out a soft, strained laugh. "Turns out I couldn't even do that right…"

He stole a glance down into her impassive, sleeping face before turning back to the windows.

"I know that what happened was my fault and I'm willing to accept that. I know that after this you'll probably never want to see me again and I promise once I'm done I'll leave and I'll never bother you again but I need to tell you…" he was talking faster now, running sentences together. He stared fixedly out of the window, feeling colour rising in his cheeks and his pulse quicken.

"I…I have to tell you….I…I …"

He closed his eyes and forced the words out.

"I love you, Haruhi."

He opened his eyes and looked down at her face. The moment he forced himself to say it, it seemed to him he loved her even more, something he hadn't thought possible.

"I love you……" he repeated in a hushed, almost wondering tone. "I'm not saying I love you because I want you, I know I can't have you. And I know, you'd never be interested in someone like me, not when you could have someone like Tamaki or Hikaru or Kyouya but…… it was worth it……just to be able to see you everyday, to see you smile at me or talk to me and to know that even if you never felt the same way about me as I did about you……you knew I was there. That was enough; I could have happily lived the rest of my life like that.

He stopped, staring down at her with infinite sadness. "I guess I really messed that up huh?" his voice came out a choked whisper.

"I'll go now. I'm sorry Haruhi, please try not to think too badly of me."

Gentle as ever, handling her as if she was something precious, which of course she was to him, he manoeuvred himself from underneath her and laid her on top of the bed.

Standing silently next to her in the grey dawn light that was now coming slanting through the windows, he took one last look at her. Standing there, face highlighted by dawn's subtle hues, his face was a perfect picture of pure devotion, love and terrible loss.

Sighing, he forced himself to turn his back to her and walk out the door.

Slowly, he walked through the deserted, silent house. Along the halls, past his sleeping friends' rooms – more of a force of habit than anything else, he looked into Honey's room, nodding with satisfaction when he saw the small boy curled safely asleep between the covers.

Down the stairs, across the hall and out the front door.

He walked slowly down the gravel path, the still-falling rain soaking through his shirt, trickling down the nape of his neck and plastering his dark hair to his head.

He stopped only once, looking back up to the window of the room where Haruhi slept, before continuing down the driveway and disappearing into the early morning mist.


	8. Chapter 8

Yes, yes I know its been ages and ages since I've updated and I know that I am truly a terrible person who deserves to be tormented eternally in the deepest circle of hell BUT! (and this is the important bit) I have finally actually got round to writing the final chapter of this fic. Yay!!! 

Anyhoo, the point is I had slight writer's block and I thank all those who commented and those who offered suggestions. I like comments; they are the source of all my power.

Right, so, here is the last chapter of this fic, please comment.

Disclaimer: I do not own Ouran Host Club………..yet…………..

Sakura Seraphim

As always, the hallway leading to the third music room of Ouran High School echoed with the faint sounds of laughter and the soft lilt of female conversation.

Two pretty girls in Ouran uniforms walked hurriedly down the corridor, heads bent together and giggling as they approached the double doors. As the first girl pushed open the door a breath of air that smelled faintly of wild roses brushed against her cheek.

The tall blonde standing framed in the doorway tilted his head slightly to the side, his blue eyes sparkling, and shot them a smile so charming that they could feel the blush rising in their cheeks.

He bowed, his eyes glinting mischievously at them through the golden coloured bangs that had fallen over them.

"Princesses, welcome. What will be your pleasure today?"

The host club was packed, as usual. As Tamaki showed the two new arrivals to a table, he passed Kyouya, whose customer was currently examining one of the bouquets of roses that decorated every table.

"What's this one called Kyouya-senpai?"

Kyouya picked one of the dusky pink roses out of the bunch; fingers twined delicately around its stem and as he examined it.

"Ah, the _Rosa Chinensis_, more commonly known as the China rose; a beautiful specimen extensively cultivated in China as an ornamental plant."

He smiled down at the pretty girl who was watching him with wide, entranced eyes, and delicately placed the rose behind her ear so that the flower sat nestled in her blonde hair.

"However, its beauty pales in comparison to yours princess." he said.

Smiling and satisfied as his customer blushed and looked at the floor, one hand reaching up to gently touch the rose, Kyouya surveyed the rest of the room and saw the twins having tea with three other customers.

Kaoru was laughing as he served one princess tea while Hikaru talked animatedly with the other two. There was a sudden clatter as Kaoru 'dropped' a tray, and two cups and a teapot skittered across the carpet.

Hikaru burst out laughing as Kaoru picked up the tableware. "For God's sake Kaoru, you're so clumsy!"

"Hikaru!" Kaoru cried; gaze averted and blushing furiously as tears began to gather under his eyelashes. "Don't laugh at me…"

Hikaru stopped laughing and looked at his brother with concern. "Kaoru?"

Hikaru rose from his chair and embraced the younger twin, tilting his chin up with one finger so he could gaze down into his tear-filled eyes.

"I'm sorry Kaoru, please don't cry. You know I can't stand it when you cry."

"Hikaru…"

Kyouya scowled as girls throughout the room, including his own customer, let out cries of "KYAAAA!" and emitted small clouds of floating hearts. He realized that they were all having to do their bit to make up for Haruhi's absence from the club but that tea set was expensive and he wasn't going to risk it being broken just for one of their 'brotherly love' acts.

He continued to allow his gaze to travel across the room until it came to rest on the remaining two host club members. Honey-senpai was being his usual self, happily munching cake as a crowd of girls fussed around him, wiping smears of chocolate from around his mouth and smoothing his hair. Occasionally one of them would look almost apprehensively back over her shoulder to look at the somber boy sitting on the other end of the couch.

Kyouya frowned. They had been informed that although Haruhi would make a full recovery from her injuries, she would not be well enough to attend club activities during the last few weeks before summer holidays; a fact that had caused many exclamations of misery among Haruhi's customers.

He and the other host club members visited Haruhi after club activities as often as they could; he himself standing aside, quietly smiling and making the occasional dry comment while Tamaki stood, smiling fondly at the head of the bed and the twins and Honey leaped on her bed yelling and hugging her.

The others didn't seem to notice, but Kyouya had seen the way she would crane her neck as they came in, as though expecting to see someone standing in the doorway behind them. The way her smile would falter slightly when she realized that it was just the five of them.

He sighed and looked back over at Mori. One of the girls had said something to him and he had responded with a small smile, but it seemed forced and emotionless. Mori had seemed so withdrawn lately. Well, he corrected himself, even more withdrawn than was expected from Mori-senpai.

He shrugged and turned to his next customer. Honey-senpai had told them just to leave alone, that things would sort themselves out soon enough.

Honey knew Mori better than any of them; he'd just have to trust him.

"Honey-chan! What kind of cake would you like?"

The one of the strawberry on it! It's cute, like you!"

Mori smiled slightly at his cousin as the girls threw themselves on him, hugging him tightly. It really was a wonder he didn't suffocate among the floating hearts.

Mori looked up, saw Kyouya looking at him and sighed. Dutifully he leant over to his cousin and wiped a small blot of cream off his chin.

"Be careful Mitsukuni."

Honey grinned up at him. "Arigato Takashi!"

Mori resumed his position at the end of the couch with his head resting on his hand.

He knew he hadn't really been pulling his weight the last couple of weeks but he couldn't help it. Everything he saw reminded him of Haruhi.

He found himself comparing every girl who came into the club to Haruhi. The smell of roses seemed suffocating, constantly battering into him the memories he was so desperately trying to put out of his mind. Each memory hit him like a firework, exploding into minor bursts of guilt, remorse and sadness.

He sighed and gazed out the window at the sprawling Ouran grounds, glowing in the late afternoon sunlight.

He missed her so much. Everyday.

He had planned on refusing to return to host club but Mitsukuni had convinced him. Haruhi wouldn't be attending anyway

_that was his fault _

so he supposed he might as well. It would be summer holidays soon anyway, so it would be easier to avoid her.

He sighed softly as he looked around the club. She'd been a natural here. She'd fitted in. And now that she'd left she'd next an empty space. There was nothing there.

Nothing but the lingering scent of roses.

That had been over a month ago.

Mori stepped out of the dojo into the sunshine; tilting his face upwards with his eyes closed to momentarily bask in the afternoon warmth. He opened his eyes with a frown, something was wrong.

There had been no cry of "Takashi!" and no small blonde figure had hurtled himself at him. He looked around at the small bench near the dojo door where Honey usually waited for him after kendo practice.

In place of a small childlike boy, swinging his legs and playing with a worn usa-chan doll there was a note in an envelope marked "Takashi".

He walked over and picked it up carefully. He opened it and scrutinised the sheet of paper inside. It was definitely Mitsukuni's handwriting.

Takashi,

Gone home early, you'll have to walk home yourself. Try not to be an idiot!

Mitsukuni x

Mori frowned and turned the letter over. What was that supposed to mean? After re-reading the letter a few times he shrugged and put the note in a nearby bin.

He turned down the street and turned into the park he and Honey always walked through to get home. He walked past playing children and laughing teenagers who were out enjoying the sun and smiled slightly to himself.

He turned, as usual onto a path that branched off from the main one through a grove of trees and walked gratefully into the shade the trees offered.

This was always his favourite part of their walk home. Away from the noise and commotion of the rest of the park, this path was canopied by spreading and interwoven branches of trees that bathed the path in a dappled green light. The path also ran through a small river that gurgled cheerfully on its way to the pond in the centre of the park. The path led onto a small bridge that passed over the river.

Mori stopped in his tracks.

There was a girl on the bridge.

Haruhi was leaning on the railing of the bridge, one hand held out over the river so that it caught droplets from the occasional rainbow tinted spray that the river threw up. She was wearing a pale green sundress that fell to her thigh and white sandals. The bruise on her face had faded and was replaced by a contented smile as she watched some leaves that had fallen into the river dance in the current.

Mori stared at her in shock. _It's ok. She hasn't seen you. Just walk away and…_

"Mori?"

_Damn_. From what his could see of her with his eyes cast to the floor, Mori saw her lift her arms from the bridge's wooden railing and turn to him. Arms clasped demurely behind her back.

_What were the chances? How could she possibly know that…_

Mori's face darkened and he scowled slightly.

_Mitsukuni!_

"_Try not to be an idiot!"_

_What the hell was that supposed to mean!? He wasn't even going to talk to her._

_How could he possibly talk to her……?_

"Mori?" the voice repeated, this time with a slightly more timid edge.

Mori's head jolted up a little as he was startled out of internal guilt-ridden monologue and he caught a brief glimpse of her face. She looked confused, her face set with a stubborn look.

He lowered his gaze again. He'd forgotten how pretty she was……

There was an exasperated sigh from up ahead.

"So that's it then? You're not going to speak to me." she said in an annoyed tone, folding her arms over her chest.

She dropped her face, her hair falling into her eyes. This time her voice came out as more of a hurt whisper.

"You're not even going to look at me?"

Mori shut his eyes; he could feel his heart caving in just listening to her. She sounded so sad.

He couldn't stand this. Why did she keep doing this? Didn't she know he didn't deserve to speak to her? Let alone look at her.

_Just walk past her. It's for the best._

Heart sinking in his chest, he walked up to her. He kept his head down.

He walked past her. Out of the corner of his eye he saw her turn so her eyes could follow him. Out of the corner of his eye he caught the look of wounded confusion on her face.

He walked past her, looking straight ahead. Fighting with each step not to whirl around and run back to her.

"I was awake!"

Mori stopped.

He stared straight ahead in terrified disbelief. The words flooded through his mind, repeating themselves over and over, each time feeling like a slap in the face.

The sounds of the path; the murmuring of the river and the chirping of the birds, seemed deafening in the stillness.

He thought he could feel Haruhi's gaze on the back of his neck.

_Just run. Run before she laughs. Quick……_

He felt a tentative touch on his hand and screwed his eyes shut with the agony of mental anguish.

"Mori? Look at me."

He felt his neck move of its own accord. Even in these circumstances he couldn't bring himself to deny something she'd asked of him.

He looked down into Haruhi's eyes as she walked around him, eyes never leaving his, until she was standing directly in front of him.

He way he looked at her was identical to the way he had before he had left her sleeping at Kyouya's house. Simple adoration marred with terrible loss and sadness. He found he wasn't even scared anymore. He had passed as far through fear as he could go and was now floating in the calm waters on the other side.

She was looking up at him, her eyes were thoughtful, tinged with apprehension and, he frowned inwardly, fear?

As if hearing his thought she dropped her eyes nervously. She picked up one of his hands in both of hers and began to delicately trace a pattern on it with one index finger.

"Did you mean it?"

He blinked in surprise. This wasn't what he'd expected. Well, he was sure the laughing would start soon enough and then……

"Mori?" She tilted her face up to his and looked at him. "Did you?"

He sighed to himself.

_Might as well, _he thought, his thoughts taking on a hysterical edge. _Since it doesn't seem likely that you're going to disappear into a hole in the ground, you might as well tell her the truth._

His heart was pounding and a hot blush was rising in his cheeks but he forced himself not to look away from her shining eyes.

"Every word." He said calmly. Sadly.

He heard the small intake of breath as she gasped and watched as her eyes flickered over his face, examining it studiously for any sign that he might be lying.

After what seemed like an eternity to Mori, she dropped her gaze again. When her eyes moved back up to meet his, they were still filled with that nervous apprehension but now they were dancing and shining with barely contained joy.

She bit her lip and stood on her tip toes so that her face was right up next to his.

Mori could smell her shampoo and feel the rapid beat of her heart against his body.

"I….."

The sounds of the pathway stopped. Everything stopped. Mori held his breath and felt his heart stop in his chest.

Haruhi smiled and looked into his eyes.

"I love you too."

Letting out a delighted laugh at his completely stunned expression, Haruhi placed one of her hands on each of his shoulders and pressed her lips against his.

Once he had recovered from his initial shock,

(_Haruhi loves you. Haruhi is kissing you. HARUHI is kissing YOU!)_

Mori closed his eyes and pulled her close against him, relishing the way she clasped his arms around his neck and allowed herself to be lifted off her feet as he kissed her back.

Not far away, hidden under the cover of leaves and branches and unknown to the two on the bridge, the rest of the host club hid in two trees overlooking the scene.

"Kawaiiii" Haru-chan and Takashi are so cute together!" Honey exclaimed delightedly looking fondly across the water at the two kissing figures in the distance.

"Cute!? That's my beloved daughter you're talking about! And she's being violated! Don't worry darling, Daddy will save you!" wailed Tamaki, making to jump down from his branch.

"Shut up Tamaki." Kyouya said in an amused voice as he grabbed the blonde's collar and pulled him back into the tree, causing a small shower of leaves.

Kyouya leaned languorously back against the trunk and smiled wistfully at the couple as Tamaki sulked next to him.

Kaoru smiled too as he watched looked at Mori and Haruhi but he was mindful of his brother who was clutching his hand and watching with an unreadable expression.

Well, unreadable to most people anyway.

Kaoru squeezed his brother's hand.

"You alright?" he said, his voice full of concern.

Hikaru sighed and then nodded, turning to Kaoru with a weak smile.

"Yeah. She's happy right?"

Kaoru smiled and nodded before tugging Tamaki's foot where it hung beside his shoulder.

"Come on, m'lord. Let's go."

One by one, the other members of the host club jumped, climbed, or in Tamaki's case, fell out of the tree and strolled away across the grass in the afternoon sunshine.

And on the bridge, oblivious to all this, two figure kissed in the dappled sunlight.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Oh dear god longest chapter ever………

Well I hope you enjoyed my random little fic and watch for other quality Sakura Seraphim productions (pffffft).

Thank you lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots for reading and even more if you reviewed.

I love you all!

Sakura Serphim


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